Saying Hi to Yourself

Nicholas Urbaniak • May 4, 2025

The Gentle Path of Checking In and Noticing How You’re Really Feeling

One Honest Word Away



Naming an emotion can help free yourself from the emotion you are feeling.


Often I find myself rolling like a ball of cheese down a Minnesotian hill — unstoppable, but also kinda cheesy.

You know those hills — not the snowy ones, but the mental ones. The kind where your thoughts gain momentum and your mood subtly slips. It’s hard to notice when you’re rolling, especially when the hill is made of negative emotion. You move from one thing to another, feeling off, without really knowing why.


Sometimes it starts small:


  • Someone cuts you off in traffic
  • You forgot to respond to a text
  • You scroll a little too long and feel hollow afterward


Suddenly, you’re in a fog, disconnected but still moving.

But what if… before the roll begins, you set an intention to check in with yourself? What if you paused and asked, “How am I actually feeling?”


You’d be surprised how powerful it is to simply name the emotion.


The Power of a Pause

When you stop and take a moment to notice how you feel, you give yourself a chance to slow down and look around.


To ask:


  • Where have I been heading lately?
  • Do I still want to go there?


This gentle pause is a moment of clarity — a redirect, not a judgment. Are you walking a path of complaint? Or are you moving moment to moment, letting yourself be present?


A Wake-Up Story

One of my favorite examples: the alarm clock moment.


You know the one. The dreaded beeping, the rush to hit snooze. It’s tempting to shut it down and curl up, but I’ve learned something else is possible.


I started trying a new approach — turning off my alarm gently, breathing for a second, and letting myself just be for a few minutes. In that space, I might stretch. I might mentally map out my morning. I might just feel what’s going on in my body.

That small shift — choosing calm instead of chaos — changed how my whole day unfolded.


If you’re waking up abruptly and rushing into your day, try modifying your routine. Give yourself five extra minutes. Check in. It’s a game changer.


How to Reset in the Middle of the Day

Even in the middle of a hectic afternoon, the same rule applies:


  • Pause
  • Name the emotion
  • Ask if you’d rather feel something else


Don’t force it. Just invite something new in.


You might find that what felt like boredom is actually a need for creativity. That what seemed like sadness is really fatigue. That what looked like anger is unmet expectation.


Naming it doesn’t fix everything. But it opens the door. And sometimes, the way back to yourself is just one honest word away.

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By Nicholas Urbaniak • October 4, 2026
There’s a strange thing that happens when you want more out of life. You start convincing yourself that where you are now isn’t enough. The job isn’t enough. The house isn’t enough. The money isn’t enough. You’re not far enough along. You haven’t accomplished enough yet. And maybe some of that is true. Maybe there really is another level for you. Maybe you should make more money. Maybe you should take the risk, build the thing, get healthier, move somewhere new, become better at what you do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more. I think wanting more is part of being alive. But I’ve started to realize that there’s a big difference between wanting more and needing more in order to finally be okay . That difference changes everything. Because if your happiness is always attached to whatever comes next, you never actually arrive. You just move the finish line. You tell yourself: Once I make this much money, I’ll relax. Then you make it. And there’s another number. Once I get this job, I’ll feel successful. Then you get it. And suddenly you’re comparing yourself to the person above you. Once the business works… Once we buy the house… Once I lose the weight… Once people recognize what I’m doing… There’s always another “once.” And without realizing it, you can spend years living five feet in front of yourself. Maybe the Goal Isn’t to Stop Wanting More I don’t think the answer is to kill your ambition. I don’t want to pretend I’ve reached some enlightened state where I no longer care about accomplishing anything. I do. I want to build things. I want to succeed. I want my family to have more opportunities. I want to become better. I want to see what I’m capable of. But I don’t think those things have to come from being unhappy with my life right now. That’s the part I think we get wrong. We’ve been taught that dissatisfaction creates progress. Sometimes it does. But dissatisfaction can also become an addiction. Eventually, you stop climbing because you’re excited about where you could go. You climb because standing still makes you feel like you’re failing. Those are two very different ways to live. One says: “This isn’t good enough.” The other says: “This is good. And I wonder what else is possible.” I’d rather build from the second one. Comfort Isn’t Complacency Being comfortable where you’re at doesn’t mean giving up. It doesn’t mean you stop working hard. It doesn’t mean accepting circumstances you have the ability to change. It just means you stop treating your current life like a waiting room. You actually live in it. You look around and recognize that some of the things surrounding you right now were once things you desperately wanted. That’s easy to forget. There are probably things in your life today that a younger version of you would be amazed by. Things you prayed for. Things you worked for. Things you once thought would make everything different. And then they became normal. That’s what humans do. We adapt. The extraordinary becomes ordinary surprisingly fast. Which means if we don’t learn how to appreciate what we have now, there’s no reason to believe we’ll suddenly become good at appreciating things when we have more. More money won’t fix that. More recognition won’t fix that. More success won’t fix that. We’ll just have more things to overlook. Wanting From Abundance Instead of Lack I think there are two different places ambition can come from. One is lack. I need more because what I have proves I’m not enough. The other is abundance. I’m grateful for what I have, and I’m curious about what I can create from here. The actions might look exactly the same from the outside. Both people might work late. Both might start businesses. Both might chase promotions. Both might set ridiculous goals. But internally, they’re living completely different lives. One is constantly running away from something. The other is moving toward something. And I think you can feel the difference. When everything is driven by lack, even winning feels temporary. You get what you wanted and immediately ask: What’s next? When you’re grounded first, success becomes something you get to experience rather than something you need to survive. You can actually enjoy it. You Don’t Have to Earn the Right to Enjoy Today This might be the hardest part. Sometimes we almost feel guilty being content. Like if we become too comfortable, we’ll lose our edge. If I stop being hard on myself, maybe I’ll stop progressing. If I appreciate where I am, maybe I’ll stay here forever. But I’m not sure peace makes us weaker. I think it might make us better. Because now the energy that used to go toward constantly proving yourself can go toward actually creating something. You’re not wasting half of your attention worrying about whether you’re behind. You can just work. You can be present with people. You can take risks because your entire identity isn’t riding on whether they succeed. You can fail without feeling like the failure says something permanent about you. And strangely enough, that might make growth easier. You stop gripping everything so tightly. The Life You’re Chasing Is Happening Right Now That sentence has been sitting with me. Because the future version of your life that you’re working so hard for will eventually become another ordinary Tuesday. You’ll wake up. Make coffee. Look at your phone. Think about what needs to get done. Whatever you achieve, eventually you’re still just going to be you, living another day. So maybe the skill isn’t figuring out how to create a life so incredible that every day feels extraordinary. Maybe the skill is learning to see what is already extraordinary inside an ordinary day. The people sitting next to you. Your health. A quiet morning. A conversation with someone you love. Having something worth working toward. Even having the ability to wonder what comes next. None of that means you shouldn't chase more. Chase it. Build it. Go see how far you can take things. Just don’t accidentally sacrifice your entire present to a future that keeps moving away from you. There’s a sentence I keep coming back to: I’m happy here. And I’d still like to see where I can go next. I think both things can be true. Maybe they’re supposed to be. Where Purpose Blossoms, Honey Follows A bee doesn’t sit on a flower angry that it hasn’t reached the next one yet. It takes what is there. It gathers the nectar. And then it moves. Flower to flower. Moment to moment. There’s movement, but there’s also presence. Maybe we could learn something from that. You don’t have to hate this chapter to be excited about the next one. You don’t have to convince yourself that your life is lacking in order to improve it. You can appreciate what’s growing now while still planting what comes next. You can be grateful and ambitious. Content and curious. Comfortable and still moving. Maybe getting more doesn’t begin with desperately reaching for something outside of you. Maybe it starts by finally realizing: What I have right now is enough for me to be okay. And from there?  Let’s see what else can grow.
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