Mind Over Matter
The Paradox of Trying Too Hard
I’ve always believed in the power of mind over matter—that any challenge could be unraveled through deep thought, that any moment could be perfected by perfecting my internal dialogue. I trusted that if I just thought long and hard enough, I'd find the answer. And that mindset has taken me on countless loops of trial and error. The idea was simple: more thought equals more control. But over time, I’ve come to see that sheer mental willpower isn’t always the fix-all I believed it to be. In fact, sometimes it’s the very thing getting in the way.
It turns out that the times I wasn’t trying so hard—the times I let go a little—were actually the moments I embodied “mind over matter” best. Not because I conquered the situation, but because I wasn’t at war with it. I wasn’t overthinking or forcing a solution—I was allowing one.
Here’s the paradox: the more we strain to get something, the more it tends to slip away. It’s like trying to catch a feather in the wind—you don’t snatch at it, you move gently with it. Force creates resistance. And resistance, as Newton reminded us, pushes right back. The more we push, even subtly, the more the situation pushes in return.
A good analogy is Chinese finger traps: the harder you pull, the tighter they grip. But if you relax, give it a little slack, you can slip right out. Or think of trying to remember a word on the tip of your tongue—the more pressure you put on yourself to recall it, the more it hides. And yet, when you finally stop trying, it pops right into your head.
So maybe true mastery isn’t about intensity—it’s about presence. It’s about approaching life the way you approach something you love doing: with ease, curiosity, and a lack of attachment to the outcome. That’s when things begin to flow.
So next time you feel yourself pushing too hard—mentally, emotionally, energetically—pause. Breathe. Approach it like a craft you’ve honed, or a game you enjoy. And just maybe, that shift will be the only adjustment you need.
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